Dear Readers,
I'm feeling old this morning. Not old in the sense that my bones creak when I stand; old in the sense that I've lost something which can't be regained. Being home is hard: I have conflicting interests here. I want to be the mature, sensible young woman that I know I am in Santa Barbara. Yet, I find sometimes that I revert to the teenager that once lived here. It haunts me sometimes; my mannerisms come back, my attitude changes and I can't get over the fact that I should have homework. Instead of my life spreading out before me, I see the walls closing in around me.
So, in lieu of this feeling, I've decided to create a list. A list of things I want to do before I die. And yes, I know that's (hopefully) a long ways off, but I also know that time stops for no one and I don't want to look back on my life one day and have one more dying wish that will remain unfulfilled. This list has a few things already covered; they've been marked by an x.
One last disclaimer: this list isn't complete. These are just the things I've wanted to do up until this very moment. Some dreams may drop off the list and others be added; some will take lots of time and might go unfulfilled.
Let's hope not though.
-Write a novel and have it published
-Sponsor a world vision child continuously
-Write a book of poetry and have it published
-Get a higher degree of education than a Bachelors
-Fall in love (this one is optional)
x Be published
-Sing in an opera (also optional, because unlikely)
-Go to an opera
-Go on a sailing trip
-Take a backpacking trip
-Go to the British museum/Llouve
-Decorate a home
x Be in a band/be recorded
-Continue to sing after I graduate
-Be completely surprised
-Visit the cathedrals of Europe
-Live in another country (Italy!)
-Learn another language
-Live all on my own
-Have a pet that's not a beta-fish
-Mentor someone
-Be mentored
-Live differently
-Not let my life pass me by
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The [Bucket?] List
Posted by Erika at 7:38 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hi friend! :)
I totally agree with your experiences at home, ditto.
Didn't you already take a sailing trip?
praying for you as you prep to embark on a new adventure!
PS: you were rocking the belt yesterday, loved it!
Love, your hair twin
"I've lost something can't be regained."
I think that the instant we realize we can no longer extend ourselves in any direction we want is the instant we feel old. I think we might have talked about this during Secret Garden, but during this last year at school I often felt as though I was slowly cutting off appendages one by one, never to regrow them. Yesterday I drove up with some other former RAs to deliver food to this year's group as they came off the mountain from Imprint. It felt really weird to see how excited they were and how much they learned and to know that that's not something I'll ever do again.
I think the mindset behind your bucket list is the antidote to feeling trapped by one's own life. We have to struggle and fight to keep doing the things and engaging with the people we care about in new and creative ways, and often that means extending yourself without foreknowledge of the results into a realm you've never been in. At home where everything is taken care from you, where you never have to leave your comfort zone, I think we're in the worst danger of complacency.
Post a Comment