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Saturday, November 1, 2008

Sticks and Stones

Dear Readers,
I have a boulder hanging over my head. Actually, three of them. On the imaginary timeline of the semester which gives me a general scope of limits, there are three humongous projects due, all within the same week. Its terrifying to think that all this research and writing will have to be done by then, but I still find myself procrastinating. Why is that? I'm excited about the projects, want to research and discover, explore the possibilities. Yet, every time I'm at the computer I find myself slacking off instead of working. This isn't like me at all. Maybe I'm having an identity crisis.

I have a problem with the execution of plans. For example take two summers ago. I planned my whole summer out, created lists of exciting trips, daydreamed about the fun things I would fill my time with. Then what did I do? Lay on the couch the whole summer! There is something satisfying about making plans, tediously weaving the strands of time together in your head to form a picture of what could happen. But it never gets done. Plans like this help me get through the semester: I create a time for myself when I have nothing else to do but sit down and read a book or go out to coffee with a friend. But when the time comes around, I'm too lazy to actually get up and do it.

The good thing is, my friends, that I've realized the problem. No longer do I tell people that I would like to talk to them with no intention of ever following through with the action. I go on coffee dates, stop in the middle of homework to check up on my roommates, and drop by my friend's rooms just to say hi. Its tiring, annoying at some times, inconvenient at others, but most of all, its satisfying. I'm true to my word, and true to my work. I get things done! Yay for me!