Italy Post #21

Dear Readers,
Most of you know that my sister is home right now. If not, she's home right now. Anyway, there is a sense in which I'm jealous of her. Or maybe just envious. I miss home; not even Westmont, but actually Oakdale. The way the leaves would change colors all the way down the driveway, the bite that is in the air if you get up early enough to catch it, the comfort of sitting on the couch with a hot cup of tea and a good book. Fall is definitely here, but its not a comforting fall. It creeps in through the walls and floors and staying your bones. I'm even cold right now. But its not even just the cold; its the feeling of fall. I can't help missing it: fall is my favorite season. Pumpkins! Pumpkin pie, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin muffins. They don't have pumpkins here. There is also a missing sense of rejoicing, that feeling that keeps you going until Christmas. The feeling that rejoices in the coolness of the days. Here everyone just bundles up and keeps their head down, as if they want to live in summer forever.

But what am I saying, dear readers? I live in Santa Barbara! I don't like the cold! But there is a part of me that misses being home in this moment. And maybe its the fact that I miss the people there as well, the comfort of being around people who know you intimately and care for you even more. Letter writing has kept that feeling alive in me, but the quick comfort of crying on the shoulder of someone who loves you is absent here. But what can I do? Eat my fill of roasted chestnuts (they're really into that here) in some wind-sheltered alley among the cold stones? NO! I choose to live vicariously through the visits of friends and family: Kelsey for sure on Sunday (yay!!!) and then maybe KiKi and Julie on Thursday! While I know its not quite home, the presence of people from California will hopefully give me a new perspective.

People from the program has described this feeling as the end of the "honeymoon" stage of Orvieto living. I know this town pretty well, and its not quite as romantic as I first thought it. Yes, its still just as beautiful and I could sit and stare at the duomo forever! But, in the same way, there are things I just don't like about Italian culture. They don't have sidewalks. People never smile at you; actually, they talk about you freely behind your back. Everything is more expensive, except cookies. I'm so glad I came here and was able to spend time getting to know another culture, but in some ways that has made me appreciate America so much more. I still will always hate strip malls and chain stores. But if I could trade my cappuccino maker for a chai tea latte from Coffee Bean in this very moment, I would probably do it.

But watch: when I get back from Italy, I'll be dying for some good pasta and olive oil and won't be able to keep to the sidewalks. I'm expecting it. And I guess that is why I'm still carrying on here and making the best of my time: its growing ever thinner as the weeks and months pass.