Italy Post #3

Dear Readers,
The past 24 hours has been a time of first impressions. A first impression can only carry you so far, yet in that small time span of measurement, calculation, and judgement you can make certain assumptions and predictions. The first person I met at the airport in DC was a girl from my program; her name is Jodi and I happened to bump into her. Over the next few hours, several of us accumulated into a mass of people. There were a lot of introductions, some hesitation, and certainly a willingness to get to know one another.

I mentioned in an earlier post the anxiety I felt over the strain of getting to know new people. There is a certain vulnerability in that situation. You have to put yourself out there, let people judge you on your presence (or lack of it), make sure you don’t misrepresent yourself. Little things like the way you eat your food or that small scar underneath your left eyebrow become the way in which you are perceived. It’s frightening and exhilarating at the same time.

I can’t say that I’ve had the best time so far in Orvieto, what with a 5 hour flight to DC then a 7 hour flight to Rome. I’ve been up for almost 24 hours straight right now, my eyes are slightly starting to cross and I feel like my head is filled with 5 extra pounds of weight. Meeting up with the entire group for the program was disorienting in itself, connecting with so many new people, trying to figure out their life stories, their situations, their goals for the program. My mind was stressing out just trying to figure out how the group dynamics would work. But we got ahold of ourselves as a group. Its only been 24 hours and I feel like I know this small collection of people intimately; we’ve all shared the same experience of traveling and playing cards on the bus, from hiking up the hill to the monastery with all of our luggage to the amazing salads we had for lunch. We are all united in the surreal-ness of the situation, the reality that we’re actually here walking the cobblestone streets. That might have partially come from the sleep deprivation though.

I remember telling one friend at Westmont that I didn’t think I was ready to go abroad until this year. As a senior I’m coming with more experience than most people in the group, but this experience comes with a sacrifice: one half of my last year at Westmont is taken. I can’t help wondering what it is like there at this very moment, if my friends are missing me, if chapel band and choir will be the same when I come back. I wish I could put the world on hold while I traveled. This trip is for me; its for my growth as a person academically, spiritually, but mainly socially. I don’t think I’ve ever had the confidence before to throw myself into a new situation, a strange environment where I would be uncomfortable and maybe even miserable. This trip is partially to tell myself that I can do this, I can live on my own and make new friends and experience new things all by myself.