Sons of Issachar

I think most people hate change. Or at least, hate change that is uncomfortable.

Although that's a little bit of a blanket statement - there is a broad range on this spectrum. A perfect example of this is the difference between me and the people at my church. They freak out the most minor adjustment in the schedule or mistake in the bulletin, while it takes a little more to get me to speak up.

And I guess that's something that I've been learning lately. We all go through seasons in life. But sometimes its hard to change seasons. I get so used to wearing shorts, that it shocks me the day I step outside and into a puddle.

One of the biggest things I'm learning right now is that my time with God can go through seasons, and that its OK. The past year I've become so dependent on connecting with God through visions. Every day would be just me and God, me and God, me and God. We'd spend time walking on the beach, eating lunches together, sitting in our garden. And I loved it. And I miss it.

God's brought me into a new season. And I've been holding on so tightly to those visions, to that super-tangible way of experiencing God's presence. I know that I can go back there at any point, I know that God lives inside of me. And yet....

So what's the new season? It took me about a month to figure out what was going on, but I've realized that God has placed inside me a deep love and longing for His word, which is something that I've never had! It exciting, especially since I've started memorizing verses, which has already come in handy. Now, if only I can get to be like the sons of Issachar, who understood the times and knew what Israel should do..... Maybe this season will be followed by a season of prayer. That can be first on the list. :0)

The Vision

If I could recommend one book, out of all the books I've read throughout my entire life, no other book has spoken to me, touched me, or moved me as much as Rick Joyner's "The Vision". Its basically one humongous vision that the Lord gave him about the end times, the church, and the worship in Heaven. And tonight I finished it (its been process).

This passage made me cry:

"Then the Father became intent on one thing. All of heaven seemed to stop and watch. He was beholding the cross. The Son's love for His Father which He continued to express through all of the pain and darkness then coming upon Him touched the Father so deeply that He began to quake. When He did, heaven and earth quaked. When the Father closed His eyes, heaven and earth grew dark. The emotion of the Father was so great that I did not think I could have survived if I had beheld this scene for more than the brief moment that I did.

"Then I was in a different place, beholding a worship service in a little church building. As sometimes happens in a prophetic experience, I just seemed to know everything about everyone in the battered little room. All were experiencing severe trials in their lives, but they were not even thinking of them here. They were not praying about their needs. They were all trying to compose songs of thanksgiving to the Lord. They were happy, and their joy was sincere.

"I saw heaven, and all of heaven was weeping. I then saw the Father again and knew why heaven was weeping. They were weeping because of the tears in the eyes of the Father. This little group of seemingly beaten down, struggling people had moved God so deeply that He wept. They were not tears of pain, but of joy. When I saw the love that He felt for these few worshipers, I could not contain my own tears.

"I saw Jesus standing next to the Father. Beholding the joy of the Father as He watched the little prayer meeting, He turned to me and said, 'This is why I went to the cross. Giving My Father joy for just one moment would have been worth it all. Your worship can cause Him joy every day. Your worship when you are in the midst of difficulties touches Him even more than all of the worship of heaven. Here, where His glory is seen, the angels cannot help but to worship. When you worship without seeing His glory in the midst of your trials, that is worship in Spirit and truth.'"

I needed to hear that.

Addicted to Coffee(shops?)

I just got offered another interview for a job today. My first thought was "The Lord's favor is so with me!" But, now that I'm up late, sleepless but determined not to take a sleeping pill, I'm rethinking that statement. Yes, its awesome to be considered for a job position, and even more exciting to get one! But I think I might be addicted to that feeling, or at least on my way. As exciting as a new job offer is, the fact remains = you have to do the work. And I'm not sure that I want to add anything else to my plate at the moment - its pretty full already.

One reason I'm considering taking this job (if its offered), is that I loved my experience at Coffee Bean. I loved my boss, loved my co-workers, loved the customers, loved making the drinks, loved scrubbing the toilet . . . . OK, that might be taking it a little too far, but you get the point. I had a really good experience in Carp, and sometimes I wish I could go back. And I know that I've been more and more drawn into the church recently, which has been amazing in and of itself. But I really felt like I was making a difference at Coffee Bean, as strange as that sounds.

Another reason I have to face this job is that I have a really hard time saying no. Boo! I wish I just knew what I wanted and that was that. But I'm that person at the buffet who has to get 3 plates of food because I want to try everything! And anytime a job is offered to me, I'm like "I can totally do that!" But its not about if I can do it, or even what it would be like - I want to live a manageable life.

That was one of my problems with the secretarial positions I held at Hope 4 Kids. I hated rushing around, throwing together my work at Christ Lutheran, then getting home and feeling too tired to do anything.

So I guess the question boils down to - have I learned my lesson? In a sense, only time will tell ;0)

Lights Out

Does anyone else have it where you get a great idea when you're doing something, and then by the time you have time to write it down, its fallen out of your mind and you're left with the same plain old thoughts?

That happened to me today. I was at the gym, reading "The Call" by Rick Joyner, and I had this brilliant thought on God's just nature, and I was intending to blog about it. And now I'm stuck writing about the same old stuff.

And yes, this blog post is also written late because I couldn't sleep, and hopefully I don't get too loopy from the sleeping pill I just took. Seriously, I couldn't remember what I'd written in my previous post the day after because of the sleeping pill.

The Christian Worker

I really don't know why I'm up right now. Does anyone else have those nights where you just toss and turn for hours, and then the only thing you think that will calm you down is some music, but you're roommate is sleeping so you're forced to go downstairs to sit on the computer and wait for your body to calm down? Unfortunately, those nights are almost all my nights at the moment, but I have faith that one day I won't have to deal with any sort of insomnia.

One of the things that has been pricking at my brain for a few weeks now is a new job I accepted at a church in Goleta called Light and Life. Funny enough, that's the church that shares Christ Lutheran's building, so basically I work for 2 churches but don't have to leave the property. Convenient.

It just blows my mind that the Lord seems to be drawing me into the church - aren't the people outside of the church those that need Christians? Isn't it basic logic, or even just plain common sense, that strong Christians need to be out in the world saving the lost and loving the broken-hearted?

And yet....

Here I am, comfy cosy in not one, but two congregations, and really am enjoying my work at both churches. Its a blessing to see how each church works, how they go about their business, how and who gets things done. And I love being in the church in general, surrounded by people who at least agree that Jesus is Lord with their lips. Now that's the sticky thing inside the church: how do you mentor and help someone who needs a spiritual revolution in their life, who needs to meet Jesus face to face and repent? How do you lead people into a deep, personal, intimate, loving, beautiful, captivating relationship with a stranger they don't know?

So I guess that's the weight upon my shoulders right now, but I get the kids, so I get to ask all those questions in light of how it would effect the kids. And I guess that would be my goal for this next year: to help them understand what it means to have a relationship with the Lord, how to personally know Jesus, how to feel His Love and His Grace in your life. Exciting stuff!