Creature Comforts

Dear Readers,
I miss my Brit Lit book. Remember that thing? It looked like a large paperback brick, was about 3,500 pages long, and consumed my life for the past year. It was my baby. I carried it around everywhere, whether it was to coffee, the DC, or even all the way home on long weekends. It fit into my arm like a puzzle piece; it just felt right to have it by my side at all times. This attachment wasn't extraneous or delusional: I needed my Brit Lit book by me at all times. At every spare moment, I got a jump start on the reading that was due the next week. I wasn't overachieving; I was finishing the assignment the only way I could. It consumed my life, but this wasn't a bad thing. I enjoy reading with all of my heart; I love being able to say that I have read a certain passage or take a pity quote from an author.

I have found out this semester that there was a certain comfort in my Brit Lit book. It was so predictable. Every assignment consisted of reading (which could be found on the one page syllabus folded in between the pages of my book). There weren't multiple books to keep track of, no special papers or projects that were assigned. Every day we would take a quiz then have 2 hours of lecture. Every couple of weeks we would have a test. That was it: simplicity and elegance in a college course. But I've graduated since then to other English classes. More specified English classes, ones that you have to write papers for and give reports in. This scares me: it's not predictable! Every class has a different date for each project, each project has certain specifications, plus the regular reading that comes along with it. I'm going out of my mind trying to think of what is due in the next week that I get so overwhelmed by just those facts that I completely miss the regular homework assignments.

I haven't quite found a moral to the story yet. I'm still getting used to the different schedules and classes that are being thrown my way. I'm absolutely enjoying every minute of the classes I'm enrolled in, but they are a lot of work (though I think worth the effort). But the good thing is that I'm a junior still: I have a year and a half yet to figure it out.

The Seventh Day

Dear Readers,
Its been a hard semester for me so far. Enjoyable, yes; relaxing, no. Rest has been a problem for me ever since I came back to Westmont. Of course, this problem did not just start inexplicably when I came to Santa Barbara; it has been building up in my daily routine for quite a while.
The root of the cause is that I don't find enjoyment in the things that I used to. My entire Ripon Christian experience consisted of basically two different mindsets. There was the hard work and dedication that I put into learning, as well as the time that I put into extracurriculars, musical and athletic. This was my 5-day work week, the time when the main amount of effort and exertion of my mind and body was poured out into those five days. I got a social, educational, and physical respite on the weekend: I would stay cooped up in our house, surfacing once or twice for a walk around the park or for church, maybe even a party once and a while. These days were wasted in electronic (yet ignorant nonetheless) bliss, eaten up by computer games and endless TV shows. This was how I relaxed, and it worked for me at the time. Sure, it wasn't the most wholesome or enriching use of my time, but it wasn't like I did that all the time; it was reserved for the weekends, something that I looked forward to, a goal that I worked towards.

I'm in college now. My world has been turned upside down; actually, more like bleared and smeared. My worlds have collided, to use a quote from Seinfeld. School and home are no longer separate entities to me. I no longer have the usual 8 hour school day with unlimited (OK, from 4-10pm) hours at home that I could fill my time with. My days are now filled with classes and commitments - I don't have spare time! Between 2 jobs, 3 classes, 4 singing groups, and 3 meals, I can't seem to find any time to take out of my schedule for the main purpose of relaxing. Not only this, but the times that I actually do have to relax are taken up with trying to figure out the best way for me to relax. I don't find the same enjoyment in the computer and the TV as I used to - to be honest, I'd much rather be reading a book. But the problem with this collision is that I'm afraid that my school work would interfere with my relaxation. Let me make this clear - I'm afraid that the reading I do for leisure will becomes confused and intermixed with the reading I have to do for my 2 English classes; bleared and smeared you might say.

Although this seems to be quite the paradox of a situation, don't depress yourselves gentle readers. I recently talked with a professor who offered me some sage advise: write. Therefore, I am going to be trying to take more time out of my schedule to do something which I love. And, thanks to this blog, you get to see the fruits of my labors. They might be short posts, they might be absurd or fragmented, and they might come at irregular intervals. But, know this my dear readers, you will be hearing more from me from now on. That I promise.